So, I’ve had a hellish few days, but it’s all sorted now.
My Dad got diagnosed with angina about a month ago, (furring up of the arteries) and he went for his first operation last tuesday. This Tuesday he had a heartattack whilst I was at work. I got home and assumed he and my mum had gone for a walk or something. Turned out they were sat in A&E. He was pumped full of drugs to stop him from having another heart attack, although he came out with some right funny things.
We went to see him that night and pick my mum up, and it was so strange, seeing him so ill. They moved up his next operation and he had it yesterday morning, they had to put 3 stints/stents (dont know which one) in to keep his artery open. (People normally only need one putting in) and now he is finally on his way home.
“do not tell her you love her if you are not ready for her to call you at 3 AM freaking out.
do not tell her you love her if you cannot handle her father or mother.
do not tell her you love her if you cannot love her at her worse.
do not tell her you love her if you only crave for her curves, not her mind.
do not tell her you love her if you cannot deal with her mood swings.
do not tell her you love her just to have sex.”—do not tell her you love her. Krystal Gonzalez (via memoriesrecollected)
“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”—Maya Angelou (via emilynoel)
another year passes, it would have been Matt’s birthday on Sunday, which would have made him 22. That would have been scary, he didn’t even see 18, we had good times Chipmunk.
First time I smoked weed was with you, yet I tried to act all cool and told you I had done it loads before. Anyway my dear, I will always miss you. Hope you having fun up there.
I used to think this was an equal world, where men and women could live side by side. I used to hope this was a womans world, were we would be able to dominate the top buisness’s, and be the richest.
This is very much still a mans world, and throughout my time I have learnt that. When women get told it’s their fault when they are sexually harrassed because of what they are wearing. Men walk around half naked during summer, We still wear top and bottoms. And its our choice how we dress, you cannot tell us what we can and can’t wear.
Were if a woman doesn’t want to have intercourse that night, a man shouldnt still be able to have it, because he believes it is his right. And not get punished for it! That is the part that amazes me. Because nobody understands how that woman feels, for the rest of her life, not just today . The way she always walks down the street looking over her shoulder, paranoid about who may be around and what they will do to her, because if the man she loves that much can treat her that way then what would a stranger do to her.
A co-worker closed the door to the staff room behind him.
It locked automatically
and I started planning what I could use as a weapon:
smash the glass beside the fridge into his eye.
pick up the fork next to me and sink it into his leg.
claw him across the face if I couldn’t get to anything in time.
As I calculated how hard it would be to shove his body weight off of me,
he finished making his lunch, said, “Sup,” and left,
the door automatically locking behind him.
I expect if I told him I was prepared to stab him with the corner of my staff ID if I had to,
he would say what I’ve heard too often, the one we all know
but are getting wearily suspicious of:
Not all men are like That.
When I was eleven, all the girls in my class got sent to self-defence
because they assumed we’d need it one day.
When I was twelve, there was a prostitute’s body dumped in the river next to my house
because someone thought she was disposable.
When I was thirteen, it happened again and this time the man went to jail
and people stood outside the courtroom and held up signs that he did the right thing.
When I was fourteen, my friend showed up to a sleepover late, chest heaving from sobbing
and from running four blocks after getting chased by a man that followed her off the bus.
When I was fifteen, my mother accused me of being a Man Hater
and I said, “No, but god, would you blame me if I was?”
I got catcalled and then got laughed at when I flipped them off.
they pulled up beside me and I clutched my bag tighter,
my hand going in for my keys and my mind going over how their noses would look
if I smashed them in with my elbow.
“What’s the big deal,” the guy at the steering wheel asked. “We’re just complimenting you. We’re not like That.”
Sorry, but I’m not going to trust you in case I end up on a poster labelled ‘MISSING.’
Even if you seem like the nicest guy, I’ll still have one hand holding my keys
as the only knife I’m allowed, because I don’t know how far you’re going to take it:
if you won’t back off when I tell you I don’t want to date you
if you’ll shout BITCH at me when I don’t respond well to your catcall
if you’ll expect my body as a reward for treating me like a human being
if you’ll try to take what you think you’re owed by being a man
if you’ll turn me into another statistic that people shudder away from.
I have been trained to assume that it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing
or face the consequences.
I don’t know if you’ll nod when I reject you
or pump me full of bullets.
Every single woman I’ve talked to has a story where they haven’t felt safe in their own body
because of what a man said or did.